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Essay On My Dream Life Tv

I have an extensive amount of jobs that constantly cross my mind but there are only two that I would have to consider calling my "dream job". One day I dream of owning a restaurant in San Clemente, California. It is a beach and the environment is soothing and peaceful. I would like to have a restaurant because what else do people love more than food? I would like for my customers to feel at home and have them so relaxed that they forget about the rest of their day, but this is only half of my dream job. The other half is to one day have a child, a child that I would love, guide and teach to be strong, so strong that one day after I am gone and the world has changed they will prevail and make their life worth living over again and again and they will forever leave their mark in time.

Raul Cardenas, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

As far as I can remember I have always wanted to become a medical doctor. More specifically, a cardiologist. I love the thought of saving a person's life. The road to becoming a doctor is a long process, but worth it in the end. Having the feeling of accomplishment and knowing that I have made an impact on a family's life, would be the greatest satisfaction for me.

Carissa Villarreal, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

I do not as of now have a dream job, but there is a job I would like to give a shot. I would like to try being a band director because I would like to see how good I could teach music. I’m in band so it would be a good challenge.

Johnny Thompson, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

I have always wanted to become the #1 Hispanic dancer. To twirl, twist and jump on stage is a way for me to feel free. Having no fear to get on stage and dance my heart out is my main priority. My dream job also consist of teaching those that are special ed, to teach them to dance and let them realize that just because they have disabilities it doesn't mean they are limited to do what they wish to do. To some, dancing is just you moving around but to me it means a lot more. Making my dream job a reality will be the best thing that could ever happen to me.

Gabriela Becerra, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

When I grow up, I want to be a realtor. I think that would be the perfect dream job. It would be amazing to sell houses to people, and help people find their perfect home.

Valerie Gonzalez, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

My dream job is to be a professional chef; I would like to own my own restaurant and to be my own boss. To have the talent of being able to cook finger licking meals, in my opinion, would be amazing. People would spread the word and make me famous; others would travel from other places just to try the exquisite food being furnished by my talent. Most importantly I would be happy, making others happy, while doing what I love the most, cooking.

Sandra Martinez, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

Well my dream job is to be a free lance photographer because you go where you want, when you want, and you take pictures of events that are extraordinary and capture them forever. Also it’s an adventure   

Dominic Ortiz, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

My dream job is to be a naval doctor. I want to be this because to know that I would be the one to help save the lives of the people who defend this country would be rewarding. I would love to be the one to be able to tell the sailor that he didn't risk his life for nothing. I want to be the person that helped the people on the front lines. Navy Medicine is my dream job; I want to save lives, but not just any life, our sailors' lives, the ones who protect freedom. 

Sierra Pena, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

My dream job has been to be a Vet. I have always loved animals, since I was little. I never liked to see animals sick, hurt, or anything. I want to help them, so they won't be sick or hurt, and so they can feel better after their visit.

Jessica Diaz, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

I would like to be a doctor because I have always wanted to help people.

Nora Katana Sims, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

I want to be a teacher because our future is in the hands of our children. Children are the future teach them well and let them lead the way.

Claudio Carreon, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

My dream job is to become a professional international model. I would love to travel the world and model all the different and wonderful designers’ clothes. Modeling seems so exciting and outgoing.

Caitlyn Skalitsky, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

My dream job is to be a veterinarian because I love animals and it pains me to see hurt or sick animals going around. If it were up to me, there wouldn't be any sick or hurt animals anymore because I'd treat them all

Isabel Oliva, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

My dream job is being a lawyer, because if I was a lawyer then I would get paid a lot of money, and my uncle is a lawyer so it would be cool if I get to work with him because he hardly loses a case.

Daniel Tobin, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

Ever since I saw how happy people can get on their wedding day I knew what I wanted to be. Bringing people joy on their special day makes me feel satisfied. Being a wedding planner would be my dream job. Just helping them prepare for the big event gets me excited. Making couples achieve one the happiest moments in their life gives me great pride.

Clarissa Castillo, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

Every since fifth grade I have been in choir. I have learned to love classical and opera music, that’s why my dream job is to be an opera singer. I would love to be an opera singer and travel the world. I would love to sing in London and be known as a world famous opera singer.

Diana Garza, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

I have always wanted to be a professional photographer. The reason why I want to be a photographer is because ever since I was 5 years old I love to take pictures of people, and of nature, or simply I would just take random snap shots of things that I thought were cool. From then on my mom thought it would be a good Idea that I dedicate my time taking photography classes. I loved those classes but after a while I stopped going since I saw photography a different way than my teacher. He saw it as a job, and well let’s just say that I saw it as art, and the way of capturing the beauty of something and keeping it for a very long time. Don’t get me wrong I still take pictures but now I do it as a hobby.

Tatania A. Zuniga, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

My dream job would be being a professional photographer or a movie producer; I’ve always imagined myself doing the photo shoot of the cover of Seventeen Magazine and Vogue or producing the latest Nicholas Sparks movie.

Johanna Rodriguez, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

Well my dream job would a graphic designer for video games, because well for one I like to play games and I think it would be pretty cool to actually make them as well and let other kids have fun playing them just like I did.

Michael Morales, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

My dream job would have to be being CEO of a major company. Making a lot of money, making all the decisions, and not having to look up to anybody else. That would be an awesome feeling.

Jacob Martin, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

My dream job is me becoming a part of the Air Force. Why? I would like to feel like I did something for my country and know I can accomplish anything in my path.

Diego Gonzalez, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

My dream job would be to work with the President. Working with the President would be my dream job because I want to see all the hard work and decisions he has to make. I'm not very into politics but being able to work with him will teach me all I need to know.

Andrea Lopez, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

My dream job would be to become an astronaut. My passion for space is an unbearable feeling that lies deep inside my heart. The mysteries that have been asked by millions of people have not yet been answered by NASA because of technology. Later on in the future, technology will be advanced and there will be answers to questions. I would like to be that one person to look down at young children and answer all there doubt's over space.

Gemma Mandujano, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

My dream job would have to be a veterinarian; I'm an animal lover. I care for animals so much; I would do anything to save their lives. This job will never suit me because I'm the type of person who can't handle dissecting animals.

Alyssa Ramirez, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

My dream job is to coach the U.S Olympian Track team because it would not only be a great experience, but also a great chance to meet up with some of the best athletes in the world.

Brianna De Leon, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

My dream job is to be a lawyer because to me it's the greatest way to be a productive member to society. It's a very stable job which is what's best if the economy is unstable. Besides that, I think it's a way that truly helps people with their legal problems.

Irene Infante, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

My dream job is to be a criminal profiler. I'm very intrigued with the crime units, and catching those who do wrong. I want to put an end to the disgusting things these peoples do, and nothing makes me happier then knowing children around the world can be safe, and that women can walk outside not fearing men coming behind them and doing the bad things that they do. I believe in a world where people can be free, and if not, everyone owes it to each other to do the best they can. We owe it ourselves to do the right thing, and the more years that go by the more society forgets that. I believe in putting criminals away, and doing the best I can to put them in a place where they either change, or they get out of our world.

Sydni Salinas, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

My dream job would be to work for National Geographic. I would be the one taking all the animal pictures, traveling around the world to do what I love. To see many different animals I have never heard before. To keep them safe and keep track of what they are.

Angelina Vasquez, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

My dream job is to be a famous tattoo artist because I love art and it would be really amazing to get to permanently ink my skill on someone's body. Having the opportunity to make someone happy with my skill would be really great for me. I really want to prove to people that my artistic creativity is outstanding enough to really want me to tattoo them. Whether it's just some tribal tattoo, or a butterfly tattoo, or a sketch of a relatives face, I would really love to be a part of their experience of tattooing.

Erica Montes, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

Though I plan to study law, oddly enough I think my dream job would have to be a food critic. I love food, and tend to savor every flavor, and to have a job where I would be able to get paid to eat and critique the food I eat seems to be too good to be true.

Katarina Rodriguez, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

My dream job is to work for NASA. Ever since I was a little kid I was amazed on how the rockets would soar up high in the sky. With so much thrust and power, it excites me. I want to be an aerospace engineer for them. I want to help make better rockets to use less fuel or maybe build a rocket that doesn’t use fuel at all. I hope one day I can become what I’ve always wanted to be.

Andres Dena, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

My dream job would be to work as an actress. Yes the money and the fame is wonderful but I have a different reason why I would love to be an actress. My reason is because with every script I receive and every character I play I get to become someone else. I get to have this whole other life and I am no longer Alexis Guerrero the famous movie star, I am anyone I want to be.

Alexis Guerrero, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

My dream job is to be a professional photographer. I remember when I was 8 years old; I'd always steal my mothers' camera and take pictures of nature and life in general, and spend hours concocting the perfect moment to take pictures. To be a photographer, you must have the three P's: patience, passion, and perfection. I would love to be a celebrated photographer, not for the fame, but for the recognition of capturing people's most cherished moments to preserve them for a life time.

Amee Jocelyne Garcia, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

My dream job is to be a chemist. I want to find knew discoveries in healthcare and medicine. I want to be the one to make the cure for all the diseases that are threatening families all over the world. I want to be able to help these people get better and see them live a longer and happier life without worrying about their health.

Tatianna Pena, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

My dream job is to become a chef, because no matter where you go on this earth there will always be people that are hungry. I want to own a restaurant and raise enough money to go to parts of the world and cook for them so they won’t be hungry for at least one day.

Danelle Potter, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

My dream job would be a "Large Animal Veterinarian" because I love working with livestock and would greatly enjoy helping them in any way possible.

Kevin Zimmerer, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

I plan on going to go to school to become an anesthesiologist, where I will help many people. Other than that I would want to be an actor, which I do currently pursue, even though those two career paths are complete opposites.

Matthew Lopez, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

My dream job would to be in the LPGA (Ladies Professional Golf Association). I have been playing golf since I was in middle school and I believe it would be an honor and privilege to have this job for the rest of my life, and I intend on making this reality. I have always wanted to be a professional golfer because to me it is not just a game, it is my life and all I ever think about, and that is my dream job.

Petra Bazan, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

When I am older my dream job is to be a CSI agent because the things they do are very interesting to me and this kind of job is a type of job I would love to have this kind of job because I am interested in all the things they do and the way they get the job done.

Andrew Cavazos, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

My dream is to be an elementary teacher. I love children; it's amazing how much they can learn in a short time. Having this job will also help me have time to plan my own family, which is the most important thing to me.

Violeta Rico, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

My dream job is to be a veterinarian! I love animals very much and I know I would never get bored of being a vet, taking care of them would never be a bother to me. Ever since I was five years old, I said and knew that I wanted to be a veterinarian to help and care for every animal that I got in my hands on. And to be honest, the pay is very good and life would be great knowing that I have money for my family and going to work loving every moment. My dream job is not far away and I will try by best to accomplish college and be a vet one day.

Laurie Solis, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

My dream job is to be an Aerospace Engineer, the reason why I want to be an Aerospace Engineer is because I have always dreamed of working as a mechanic like my dad, yet living in my favorite NFL football teams' hometown, Houston. Not only will I would have been able to live there and be an a mechanic, but work with NASA, sadly I cant no more due to the organization being close, and earn lots of money just to fix space shuttles and more cool scientific machines.

Lucio Pena, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

My dream job is to be an astronaut. I've always been fascinated by space, the stars, supernovas, black holes and who knows maybe even aliens. I would love to explore space. That is my dream job.

Emerie Sanchez, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

My dream job is to be a Psychologist. When I was little I had a walking disability, so I know what its like to get picked on and because of that I had trust issues for a long time. I had no one to help me through those times but I want to be able to help other people deal with their problems and not feel so alone. 

Kimberly Segura, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

When I found out you could be a chocolate taster for a living I flipped. I think that is the job for me because I love chocolate and could eat it all the time. Getting paid for it is just the perk of what you do everyday.

Lucero Hernandez, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

To be a Composer or a Band Director, because I want to show people that music is not just noise to the ears. It tells a story behind each piece of music, also because music is everything to me. I want doing this career, for the rest of my life and I'm sure I will.

Abigail Gonzalez, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

My dream job is to be a neonatal nurse for the newborn babies. I love babies with all my heart. I know how to take care of them, know how to change them, love them, feed them, and put them to sleep. I have that magic touch. Literally, I'll pick up a baby who is fussy and right away they will stop crying. I love babies. Someday I hope I will reach my dream job once I finish college. Then I will have reached my dream job.

Celina Casanova, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

My dream job is to become a surgeon. I would like to be this because I will love to be able to help people that are badly injured or those that need a transplant of some sort. I would also like to be a surgeon because I like seeing blood, well just as long as it isn't mine. I really hope to accomplish this goal in the future.

Jackie Ruiz, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

My dream job is to be the CEO of a major company. It doesn’t really matter with whom as long as I get to help out a whole bunch of people. I would give my hardest workers big bonus. I would donate a lot of our company’s money to people who are in much need.

Dudley Shine, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

For my dream job I would like to be a marine biologist, being a marine biologist to me has so many perks including being near water, studying the vast life of the ocean, and just having a fun job in general.

Bryan de Leon, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

My dream job is to be a doctor. I want to be a doctor because I get to save lives, get to help sick people, and help people live longer. I have always wanted to be a doctor, since I was young, and that dream still lives. With the help of my teachers, I know I can make that dream happen.

Brenda Cardenas, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

My dream job would be to become a pediatric oncologist. I have always loved helping out others, and I love children. I want to become an oncologist because Cancer interests me and studying this deadly disease would be one of the many things I love to do in life. I’ve been interested in cancer as soon as my aunt was diagnosed with breast cancer; I wanted to know why it happened and how it happened. I began studying all about cancer ever since that day, and I wouldn’t want to be anything else besides a pediatric oncologist.

Amber Germain, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

My dream job is to become a lawyer. When I would watch television, lawyer shows would be on and they made it seem so awesome, being proven right when everyone thinks your wrong, it’s a wonderful feeling to have. I have had a way with my words that let people into my mind and they feel what I feel. I hope that my creative ways will indeed help me in my future job choice and make me a brilliant and compassionate lawyer.

Ashley Green, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

My future job will be being a basketball player because basketball is a really good sport and I have a lot of love for that sport. When you’re a professional basketball player you get paid a lot for playing a basketball game. So you get to take care of your self and your family when you have a lot of money. So that’s why I want to be a professional basketball player.

Joseph Torres, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

My dream job would be playing for the Los Angeles Lakers. This would be my dream job because the Los Angeles Lakers are my favorite basketball team and my favorite thing to do is play basketball. If I could get paid millions of dollars to do something that I love, it would be awesome.

Daniel Rodriguez, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

My dream job would be playing for the NBA. Playing basketball is one of my hobbies and getting paid a lot of money to do that would be fabulous. The excitement that comes with playing with the greatest basketball players in the world must be unexplainable, and having fans support you throughout your career just makes it that much better.

Alejandro Valdez, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

The job of my dreams would be working at a police department as a blood splatter analyst. I would choose this career as my dream job because I’ve always wanted to be a part of a forensics team since I was small.

Jose Olivo, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

My dream job would have to be becoming a veterinarian. I've always loved helping animals, since I was little I'd care for homeless animals and the animals I had. It's a challenge as well because animals can't tell you what hurts or what's broken so you really have to understand their body movements and their facial reactions.

Jennifer Villanueva, Weslaco High School

Teacher: Dr. Jean Bovee

The following Graduation Writing Proficiency Examination essays were written by HSU students during a regularly scheduled GWPE.  Except for the elimination of cross-outs, the essays are reproduced here exactly as written.  Insofar as possible, the essays were chosen to represent the entire range of possible scores.  (No essay received a score of One on Essay Topic I.)  The majors represented by the authors of these essays are, in alphabetical order, Art, Biology, Business Administration, Environmental Resources Engineering, Fisheries, Geography, Geology, Industrial Arts, and Resource Planning and Interpretation.

Personal-Experience Essay Prompt

You have 45 minutes to write on the following topic.

A distinguished essayist once wrote: "Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed, and some few to be chewed and digested."

Write an essay in which you:

  1. Describe a book that has strongly affected you.
  2. Explain how your reading of this book changed your outlook.
  3. Tell why you think this book had such a profound effect on you.
Sample Essay Score:  Six

During my third year of college I became acutely aware of the Womens Rights Issue.  I made an attempt to re-examine many of the cultural norms that I had previously accepted as just being "the natural order of things."  One of the paths I took to expand my awareness of the female psyche involved women's literature.  That is why I spent one weekend of my life in bed--crying, laughing, feeling sometimes confused, and often, incredibly angry and distraught.  On that rainy Humboldt Friday night I had decided to read "The Women's Room."

The author, Marilyn Fridey, describes the lives of several women from the 1950's to present.  These women are nothing out of the ordinary.  They either go to college and then get married, or they get married without bothering about the pretense of college--after all, they know that college is only a way to find more economically promising husbands.  Myra, the main character whose life is traced throughout the book vaguely wonders why she is not content cooking pot roast, scraping shit from the baby's diapers, and picking up her husband's dry cleaning.  Her only solace is the neighborhood of women who share concerns over coffee in the afternoons.

They wonder why Katherine, a Catholic woman who has 9 children and an alcoholic husband, committed suicide.  "She had a normal life, they thought, she just should have talked her husband into using birth control."  As for the rest of the women, including Myra, their lives, fears, disappointments and yearnings, were much more subtle, yet equally suicidal in their quiet desperation.

Many years down the road, Myra's life finally changes. Her husband has "made it", the kids have grown, and life is easy economically.  Myra has a nervous breakdown.  Once recovered, she divorces, and becomes a graduate student at Yale.  Though painful and difficult, it is here that she comes to terms with herself, realizes her potential, and learns to live with herself--not necessarily happily--but at least honestly.

After I finished the story of Myras world that Sunday evening, I woke up in the middle of the night sobbing uncontrollably from a terrible nightmare.  Though I couldn't remember the dream, I came to a profound realization. Myra's life was my mothers.

Most of my life I had revered, respected and admired my father for going to college, being intelligent and worldly, having power and control.  In short for being a man.

My mother always seemed too "wishy-washy", easily trodden upon, overly dependent because she had chosen the role of HOUSEWIFE, MOTHER.  I rebelled against the tradition, and feared wearing those chains someday.  Consequently, I strove to be like my father.

Until this book, I never realized how much more courage it took for a person to live within a stifled role, and find contentment by living through other people.  During that night of crying I understood my mother for the first time--I respected her inner strength, compassion, gentleness.

Ever since then, my relationship with my mother has evolved, and we are very close.  I will probably never adopt the role in life that she chose to take, but I now respect her for her life, and understand the reasons why she made those choices.  Reading of Myra's evolution as a female changed the way I feel towards myself, my feelings and compassion for my mother, and provided me with a much more sensitive view towards the lives of many women in our society today.

Comment:Clearly a well-written, superior essay.  Each of the three parts of the topic is covered and well developed, with considerable detail provided.  Despite an occasional lapse in the use of the possessive and a few other matters, the paper is strong in mechanics.  Sentence structure is sophisticated and effective.

Sample Essay Score:  5

Through the ages of 8-15 I was an avid reader of pleasure books.  The majority of the books were mysteries such as Nancy Drew or the Hardy Boys.  Books about animals were avoided because they usually had a very sentimental theme, and I was very emotional when it came to animal suffering.

When I was approximately 10 years old I read a book titled Misty & Chatlenaque.  This book was about a young horse that was stranded on an island.  It had been on a horse-trading ship when the ship wrecked on the rocks.  Misty went through several adventures where wild dogs tried to kill her, horse traders tried to capture her (and beat her in the process), and the sea tried to swallow her.

A little girl who lived on the Island found Misty and tried to protect her from the wild dogs and horse traders.  The story was told from the horse's point view, and the agony and terror Misty went through passed on to me.  I felt as if it were me who was being chased and beat.

A girl at the age of ten is influenced by the things she sees and reads.  Years after reading the book I had the notion that horse ranches were terrible to horses.  I also felt that horses were very human in the sense that they could think, feel, understand, and have emotions.

Whenever I passed by a horse who was behind a fence I had to stop and feed it, talk to it, pet it, and feel sorry for it.  Every horse had that "Misty" look in its eyes, and I felt it was "crying out to me".

After reading Misty and Chatlenaque, horses became more than just an animal to me.  They became something I could relate to and sympathize with.  I myself was a lonely child who felt neglected (even though I wasn't) and "penned".  While reading the book I felt the horse and I were one.  Years later I felt like horses and I had something in common and could relate to each other.

Now, I know horses do not understand what I say to them, but I still stop and talk to them as if they were human.  I feel that if I had not read that book eleven years ago I wouldn't feel as attached to horses as I do now.  To this day, I refuse to read another horse book or watch a horse movie that looks like it might be "emotional" or "sentimental".

Misty & Chatlenaque is still a very prominent book in my mind, and details of it are remembered frequently.  It has had the profound effect of altering my view of horses and will probably remain in my memory for life.  The book also had the effect of making me not want to read those kinds of books again.  Their emotional impact was too great on me so I only read mysteries and school books.  To this day I have my reservations about reading an emotional book, especially if it pertains to animals.

Comment:A very competent paper, nearly free of mechanical errors but lacking the coherent development of the superior essay.  It is also occasionally repetitious and a bit unfocused at times.  (The correct title of this book is Misty of Chincoteaque.)

Sample Essay Score:  4

In the summer of 1981 I worked for the Army Corps of Engineers on the Warm Springs Dam Project.  Much to my objections I was to spend the entire summer living alone, without my wife, since she had obligations to keep in Eureka, California.

The project was located 7 miles southwest of Cloverdale, Ca., in an area which is essentially agricultural.  Housing in the area was very scarce and the lodging which could be found was either too expensive or unsuitable.  By my own preference, I decided it would be nice to camp out in the woods for the entire duration of the summer.

At first the evenings after work were hot but beautifully peaceful.  It didn't take long though until I found my self bored to death looking for something to do besides play solitare.  How did the people in the early days of our world stand life without television.  I was forced to find some other means of entertainment which just happened to be reading.

The only reading material which was at my camp was a book left there by my wife on her last visit entitled "The Stix Complex."  This book to most of the world I'm sure has no great literary value, but to me, it was the greatest entertainment I had ever found.  I realized that in the reading of a book, ones own imagination can bring out much more detail in a story than television ever could.

I don't feel that it was the specific book that struck me so much that summer, and it probably could have been any book.  I realized that we expect to be entertained by television and movies so much that we forget that we can entertain ourselves to a much higher degree.  I still watch television, but I now read much more for enjoyment.

Comment:Although this essay addresses all three aspects of the topic, development of them is thin.  The writer devotes most of the essay to describing his situation and passes rather quickly over the book itself and its effects on him.  Still, despite a few mechanical flaws, this is clearly a competent piece of writing.

Sample Essay Score:  3

I was strongly affected by a book I read called Never Cry Wolf.  The book discribes a remote animal behavor study, located in a mountainous region of northern Canada.  The purpose of the study was to observe the animal behavior of wolfs in there natural environment. The study was conducted by a wildlife biologist, working for the Canadian goverment.

Up until the time I read the book, I had the impression that wolfs where among the meanest creatures on the planet.  I may have received this impression from childhood fairy tales that were told to me.  After reading the book severl times, my impression of wolfs had changed.  I no longer viewed wolfs as mean creatues, but instead viewed them as primarly passive creatures.  Their intent was not to harm, but to survive.

Animal behavior became a primary interest of mine after reading the book, Never Cry Wolf.  Although, I am not a wildlife major, I have assisted in a wildlife study on wolfs.  I would have never gained this experience if I had not read Never Cry wolf.  The knowledge I gained from the book has opened my eyes to nature.

Comment:While no parts of the topic are omitted, treatment of them tends to be superficial.  The writer provides very little supporting detail.  Considerable repetition is present because of the predominantly simple sentences used.  (Note, for example, how the three opening sentences can easily be combined into one: I was strongly affected by a book I read called Never Cry Wolf, which describes the behavior of wolves living in their natural environment in the mountains of northern Canada.)  Spelling is also weak.

Sample Essay Score:  2

The purpose of this essay is to describe my personal experience; that of a particular book which has greatly affected me.  This book is Sweet Thursday by John Stienbeck.  This book has greatly affected my over all outlook on life in general.  Sweet Thursdaychanged the way I think about myself and others.  Also, it has changed the way I feel about my own career.

The main character of the book was Doc.  Doc had a very profound outlook on twards life, which I found quite interesting.  He gave his career all of his attention yet still felt an emptyness inside.  This was because he was without a meaningful relationship with a women.  I too feel this emptyness, but because of Sweet Thursday I am able to understand what it is.  This understanding gives me hope when career goals are overwelming.

Comment:Although this essay does not ignore the question, it treats it very poorly.  The essay is both thin in content and lacking in development.  The writer uses repetitious simple sentences rather than more sophisticated sentence structures which would combine and properly subordinate thoughts and eliminate the repetitions.


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